Thursday, September 14, 2006

It bloody hurts, and it makes no sense.

I've avoided blogging about this because the whole thing is so unsavoury to me, but there is a key observation that I've not seen expressed elsewhere and which bothers me.

It isn't the oddity. It's the normalcy.

Everyone knows by now that Kimveer Gill posted on Vampirefreaks.com. Everyone knows he posted photographs of himself with guns and knives on the site, and talked about how "life sucks, school sucks, everything sucks" and how he wrote of living fast and dying young, and he liked playing a video game based on the Columbine massacre.

And we'll go round and round and round - again- about whether certain websites foster killers, or a certain genre of music fosters killers, or a certain video game fosters killers, or whether certain mindsets or certain religions foster killers, or...

But what nailed me this morning - after Gill's "profile" had been removed from vampirefreaks.com but before his blog had been removed - was his blog entries, through the night of September 12th into the morning of September 13th, when he would allegedly murder one person and attempt to murder dozens of others.

A lot of the press have repeated that he started his last post at 10:41 on the morning of September 13 - the day he would commit these terrible acts - with
"Whiskey in the morning, mmmmmm, mmmmmmmmm, good !! :)"
What they are not reporting is that he follows that with a boyish apology for using the term "niggahs" in earlier blog posts, saying that "......it doesn't have anything to do with their skin colour..." He uses it, he says, the way comedian Dave Chapelle does, as a term of endearment.

In his second-last post of that day - at 8:50 a.m. - he says,
"Woke up 30 minutes ago. I hate having to wait for my contact lens cases to air dry, cuz' they're just sitting on my desk now, looking messy and all.
Lemme go see what's to eat..........eggs and toast. yum."
My God. Then, two and a half hour later, this young man walks into a school and murders one person and tries to murder dozens more.?

I just can't understand it. It simply makes no sense.

ronnie

4 Comments:

Blogger Carl said...

Of course it doesn't make sense. You aren't a deranged killer. Naturally you don't think like one.

1:56 AM  
Anonymous Cousin S said...

Wow. I hadn't heard about any of that. I hadn't even heard of that web site. Being me though, now I am desperate to read his posts (which I guess have been removed).

Maybe this will help you make sense out of it...
One of my psych profs once said that everything a person does makes sense IF you know their history.

I believe that full-heartedly. I have no idea who this guy is or what his background is, but I'm willing to bet that if we did know, then we'd understand, at least in part.

12:06 PM  
Blogger ronnie said...

Hi, Carl,

You're right - these people are so off the plane of normal cognitive function that we can't understand. But I think it was the temporal proximity that is making my head spin. I understand that people can be so mentally ill that they murder.
I am baffled as to how the same person can rather sheepishly apologize for using a potentially offensive word at 10:41 and then, one hour and fifty minutes later, walk into a school and start shooting.

Does a complete mental break happen just that quickly?

Evidently so...

1:57 PM  
Blogger Carl said...

If you choose to be charitable, realize that actual brain insults (e.g. a stroke or temporal lobe seizure) could be involved. Take a guy who's already full of hostility and let a silent, painless stroke damage, say, his right frontal lobe, which removes a lot of one's normal inhibitions, and ....

11:40 PM  

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