How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you.
posted by ronnie at
10:14 p.m.
hearing/loss
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Saturday, May 16, 2009
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9 Comments:
This is clearly ridiculous. My result was only 89% that my cats are trying to kill me. Any idiot can see that they probably already have.
Or at least that seems to be their attitude.
I stole this. Thanks.
Only 85% in my case. My cats are merciful cats.
Which is why I love dogs. A dog will never plot to kill you. In fact for the most part they can't figure out the meaning of the word "plot". Oh sure, if you die of natural causes they'll eat you, but they won't actively work at killing you to do it.
hilarious. thinking back to sophie, my hearing-cat, there was only a 76% chance that she was plotting to kill me.
I am noticing a disturbing development here: my cat currently has the highest statistical probability of plotting to kill me on this comments thread.
And he looks 40% less evil than Brian's cat!
This comment has been removed by the author.
Take heart, ronnie. The "Engineer's Guide to Cats" guys probably score over 100%.
In case you hadn't noticed yet, they're back with another installment on icanhascheezburger, but the one there is an abridged version of this one on "Cat Yodeling (with Cat Polka)".
(Comment re-posted to correct link error.)
Y'know....there's a good reason why people get rid of crocodiles when they get too big. Same thing with snakes. Living with something that can...and probably will...kill you is a bad idea.
Living with an animal that even thinks it can kill you is a bad idea.
Which is why we have birds and dogs.
The dogs won't eat you until you are dead and your body has decayed to the point where it has a smell that no civilized beast could resist. They'll roll in it first. Trust me on this.
And the birds love their walking trees far too much to ever do much beyond clipping a few leaves....er...fingers off.
Regards,
Dann
Re: Birds - Dann, may I remind you of a little film by ALFRED HITCHCOCK? (dramatic chord)
As for the cats, we always thought the size difference would protect us.
We weren't taking the sneakiness into account.
ronnie
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