Saturday, May 16, 2009

How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you.

Is your cat plotting to kill you?

Knowledge is power. And forewarned is forearmed.




Blogger Sherwood Harrington said...

This is clearly ridiculous. My result was only 89% that my cats are trying to kill me. Any idiot can see that they probably already have.

Or at least that seems to be their attitude.

5:28 a.m.  
Blogger Brian Fies said...

I stole this. Thanks.

Only 85% in my case. My cats are merciful cats.

2:11 p.m.  
Blogger Brent McKee said...

Which is why I love dogs. A dog will never plot to kill you. In fact for the most part they can't figure out the meaning of the word "plot". Oh sure, if you die of natural causes they'll eat you, but they won't actively work at killing you to do it.

3:13 p.m.  
Blogger Xtreme English said...

hilarious. thinking back to sophie, my hearing-cat, there was only a 76% chance that she was plotting to kill me.

5:47 p.m.  
Blogger ronnie said...

I am noticing a disturbing development here: my cat currently has the highest statistical probability of plotting to kill me on this comments thread.

And he looks 40% less evil than Brian's cat!

8:47 p.m.  
Blogger Sherwood Harrington said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

11:26 p.m.  
Blogger Sherwood Harrington said...

Take heart, ronnie. The "Engineer's Guide to Cats" guys probably score over 100%.

In case you hadn't noticed yet, they're back with another installment on icanhascheezburger, but the one there is an abridged version of this one on "Cat Yodeling (with Cat Polka)".

(Comment re-posted to correct link error.)

11:29 p.m.  
Blogger Dann said...

Y'know....there's a good reason why people get rid of crocodiles when they get too big. Same thing with snakes. Living with something that can...and probably will...kill you is a bad idea.

Living with an animal that even thinks it can kill you is a bad idea.

Which is why we have birds and dogs.

The dogs won't eat you until you are dead and your body has decayed to the point where it has a smell that no civilized beast could resist. They'll roll in it first. Trust me on this.

And the birds love their walking trees far too much to ever do much beyond clipping a few off.


10:20 a.m.  
Blogger ronnie said...

Re: Birds - Dann, may I remind you of a little film by ALFRED HITCHCOCK? (dramatic chord)

As for the cats, we always thought the size difference would protect us.

We weren't taking the sneakiness into account.


8:23 p.m.  

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